Katherine finally got her way. Dilated my eyes and did a full exam. The mobile clinic she has taken up in is well equipped. Dee was with me as usual, but after a bit Katherine sent her out of the room. Alarm bells should have been going off at that point, but I was being a bit dense. She started ask me questions about family history. But it was not until she asked about Cancer that I began to get some idea where she was heading. At one point I just stopped her and asked her point blank "Are we talking about a brain tumor here?" She said that it could be, but she would need to do an MRI first. The mobile clinic does not have an MRI so we will have to wait. In the meantime I am scared shitless here. Back in elementary school one of my favorite teachers was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme. I had to look that up just now. I could not remember the name, but I remember that it was very aggressive and they could not cut it out as fast as it could grow back. After five surgeries it popped up someplace that just couldn't be cut into. He died a year after being diagnosed.
Jewels went through cancer with his wife. If it is Cancer maybe he can give me a straight, no BS answer as to what I can expect. Funny how when we are talking about Cancer or writing about it, it is always cancer with a little "c" but when it is affecting us directly it gets capitalized. I have seen this phenomena elsewhere, but never thought to be looking at it from this side.
I have asked Katherine to keep this under her hat for now. I think I can trust her with that.
Cancer.
On top of everything else, I might have Cancer. FUCK!
© 2009 R. Keith McBride
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