Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dead Land Journal May 10th 2027

I think the solitude is getting to me. It is not so bad during the day. Or maybe it is I don't know. During the day I know no fear. My emotional numbness seems more complete than ever. It is like a vast dead spot in my soul.

I wrecked a motorcycle three days ago. Came around a curve too fast and found a car in the street where it should not have been. Laid the bike down and skidded under the car on my butt. Scraped up my leg pretty bad. The bike is toast. My heart rate did not even jump. But a few nights ago while watching the sun go down I felt fear. Even as a child I was never really afraid of the dark, at least not that I can remember. But I was in a near panic. I went through the house turning on all the lights. I made sure that every corner was illuminated. I knew this was a drain on the batteries and that scared me even more. During the day my fears seem distant like it is not even me. But still I went out to Lowes a got a couple of generators. From there I went to Tractor Supply Company and got a 50 gallon tank for storing gas.

I have never been a gun fanatic, but I did own a gun before Lisa and I got married. A little .22 Beretta. Lisa said it was "cute". I got it after I was mugged for a third time in KC. I have used it twice to scare off would be muggers. But I don't think could kill anyone with it. Not unless they were willing to sit stock still so I could get a round in through their eye. I sleep with a gun within easy reach on the nightstand. I have several now. And none of them would ever be classified as "cute".

I think my leg has gotten infected.

© 2009 R. Keith McBride

No comments:

Post a Comment